Xing Dong

So nice so nice to hear from someone especially when you have been waiting. Past few days, I can't remember the number of times I felt like crying. OUt of guilt, sorrow, regret, sweetness, gratefulness. Out of emotions. I guess i was not wrong when I said the rain brought emotions into my realm.
I have said so much in my past few entries. Words I never thought I would have said. But somehow I did. I felt I almost lost you. I don't wanna ever lose you, have you out of my life. It is through my attempts to exclude you that I realise I couldn't live without you.

~Only when you begin to lose someone, do you realise all the small things the person have done for you~

I remember saying that I will be nice, saying that you are important, saying that I appreciate you. But I never understood that such are feelings. I never felt that. I said.

It is through me harshess and lack of consideration that I truly understood what it means to be nice to you. The feeling of almost losing you exposed your importance to me. Seeing the small instances of how I failed to appreciate you taught me what it means to appreciate you. I don't want it this way. And I don't ever want you to feel that you have lost me. Don't do that for me like you said. You don't have to do anything. Because you are the most beautiful thing I ever had. You showed me what I never saw. Your presence is already all the love that I can ever wish for.

I never asked for anything.

Yet you were my everything.

What more could I possibily ask of you.

I thank you for you, for everything.